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    當前位置:首頁 > 幸福婚姻 > 正文

    男女差異懸殊是否合適在一起?

    來源:豐木色子 日期:2014-09-12 錄入:www.181qd.com 閱讀:1次 我要評論
      案例分析:
      
      女友和我處了9個月了,她屬于沒有安全感缺少自信心的人。我比她大6歲。我今年34,她28。但是她一點都不成熟,心態也就22左右。我研究生畢業,她高中畢業,說實話我們沒有什么共同話題,沒有共同愛好,交流起來比較費勁。我對說話的語言比較在意,她說話太土,就感覺想農村的婦女一樣,而且有時說話說不到點上。我自己也屬于書呆子類型的,不會開玩笑,比較木吶。但是我很喜歡她。處了半年后我們在一起了,我比較珍惜她。想和她好好處,她跟我說,和你在一起時很自然很舒服,但只要你不在我身邊我就想和你分手,她說她想要的生活我給不了她,她想要那種朋友多多的,每天都有驚喜,浪漫的生活。她脾氣有些暴躁,平時還好,一遇到事情就生氣,還罵臟話。有一次快遞公司跟她說包裹到了,因為我這偏僻,快遞公司離我這還有100公里的樣子,她問快遞公司包裹里是什么,快遞公司的電話也沒好好說話,就說不知道,反正告訴你包裹到了,你自己看怎么拿吧,是自己來拿還是出租車給你稍過去,你自己決定,之后快遞公司就把電話給掛了。她就生氣了,馬上打給快遞公司電話,開口就問,你是剛給我打電話那女的吧,對方說是,我女友就說,操.你馬的,你她媽的掛我電話,你幾巴去死吧,我包裹不要了,操.你ma。之后電話就掛了。當時我看的都傻了。我女友老說我給她的不是她想要的。
      
      我不知道這段感情是繼續還是該放棄?您能給我些建議嗎?
      
      謝謝。
      
      追夢者
     

     
      豐木色子老師回復:
      
      中國人喜歡用“緣份“兩個字形容兩人之間的微妙關系,比如說,你倆能夠相識是“有緣”,最終卻不能走到一起,便會說“緣盡”,有些人之所以幸福是一種“緣份”,懂得惜緣,有些人之所以不能從戀愛進入婚姻,是“有緣無份”,切勿強求。
      
      你倆能夠相識,自然是有許多緣由,因為年齡大了,內向不擅言語,想隨便找個人結婚過安穩的生活,對方的標準和條件隨之下降,開始或許僅僅是因為對方的年紀、外形是你滿意的,其他方面又與你差異懸殊,有些新鮮感,你便說自己是喜歡的。可是,相處時日一長,你又會有了需要精神上交流的渴望,你發現對方原來不符合自己的諸多條件,可是人和人交往久了,便會產生習慣和依賴,退出的成本越來越大,行動力越來越難。
      
      但是,無論如何,不能為了完成結婚這個“任務”而去結婚,委屈自己和一個人在一起,因為那樣即使結了婚,勉強在一起了,遲早也會勞燕分飛的,需要善后的麻煩更多,所以決定和誰在一起一定要考慮周全。
      
      戀人之間外在的或性格上有些差異不可怕,但是內在的一些東西懸殊大了就容易出問題,比如說你倆沒有共同的人生價值觀,志趣不能基本相投,彼此不能充分了解信任,彼此不是聊得來的朋友,遇事彼此不太容易溝通,彼此沒有奉獻犧牲精神,而是一味索取和貪婪,彼此不能做到寬容大度,做不到貧窮或者疾病時不離不棄,不能堅定的支持對方,彼此不能接受對方的家庭,沒有基本的物質經濟做基礎。這樣的情侶是不適合在一起的,今后的生活也一定不會幸福。

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