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    當前位置:首頁 > 情侶必備 > 正文

    讓情侶一直熱戀的10個好習慣

    來源:百度貼吧 日期:2014-08-22 錄入:www.181qd.com 閱讀:1次 我要評論
      想你走在下班的路上,行人匆匆擦肩而過,你突然看到一對洋溢幸福氣息的戀人走過來,兩個人的手緊緊握在一起,空氣中都散布著他們的甜蜜和美好。你的感覺是什么呢?看一眼就匆匆走過?還是撇撇嘴表示鄙夷但是整個晚上都憤恨著:他們為什么這么幸運?如果你的反應是后者,那么你更應該反省內心:面對感情穩定幸福的一對兒,你很難強迫自己不去嫉妒,你是否正在為了維護自己的戀情而焦頭爛額呢?來吧,恩愛情侶網今天給大家帶來10個方法。
      
      鼓勵和贊美最重要
      
      男女剛剛陷入愛情的時候,必然會互相贊美對方的優點,隨著關系固定下來,最初的溫度略為下降之后,人們對這種事情就做得少了,盡管兩個人仍舊十分傾心于對方,但是已經不會再大聲地說出贊美和鼓勵的話。
      
      如果缺乏真心的贊美和鼓勵,那么最初的贊美給彼此帶來的美妙感受和感激之情就會大大降低,直接導致的結果就是兩人的感情聯系變得薄弱。
      
      因此,必須多多鼓勵對方,把他當作一個值得贊賞的對象,告訴他你對他身上的某個特點非常著迷,尤其是男性引以為豪但是很少能了解別人的看法究竟怎么樣的方面,比如他良好的社交能力,不為人知的小癖好,甚至是他健美的身體。
      
      舉例:27的凱琳在這方面非常有心得:“每次看見男朋友穿上西裝,我都會告訴他西裝最適合他,還有他的嘴唇的形狀非常性感。當我這樣說的時候,可以明顯看出他整個人都顯得精神煥發。”贊美還有一個妙處就是它會被傳染,經常給對方打氣,他也會習慣于尋找你身上的閃光點并給予鼓勵和贊賞。
      
      想要什么你就說
      
      舉例:娜娜最痛恨丈夫在入睡前不摟摟抱抱自己就直接睡覺。每當他忘記的時候,她就會氣惱,不好好睡覺,甚至裝病哭鬧。而她莫名其妙的丈夫只會不斷地問她:你到底哪里不舒服?
      
      相信這一出戲劇場面你并不陌生。很多女人都跟娜娜一樣,希望丈夫或者男朋友是一個超感知能力者,不需說明就可以做出她們喜歡的浪漫舉動,但是,世界上有這種感知能力的人真的是鳳毛麟角,他們不能在你的心里裝上******,隨時破譯你的心聲。如果他們知道你在等著他破譯,只會讓他們哭笑不得。
      
      在良好的情侶關系中,這種猜心游戲是堅決擯棄不用的,最穩固深切的愛情需要以沒有障礙的溝通作為基礎。需要什么、苦惱什么、希望對方說什么做什么,都是直接說出來的為好。你一言不發地自己生悶氣會讓對方無所適從而郁悶,容易引發矛盾和沖突。
      
      無傷大雅的癖好可以無視
      
      夫妻或情侶長期生活在一起后,屬于個人的習慣和癖好都會展現在彼此面前,無論他多么讓你心神蕩漾,共同生活才是考驗你的耐心和包容性的一個開端。他可能每天早上都一邊吹口哨一邊打領帶準備上班,也可能永遠把用過的浴巾扔在地板上。無論是多么奇怪的小癖好,明智的女人都應該選擇統統無視。你很快會發現對這些小事情睜一只眼閉一只眼對你們的關系絕對是利大于弊。既然已經是多年形成的習慣,那么絕對沒必要在這種事情上浪費時間大起干戈,不要因小失大。
      
      舉例:張丹丹的男朋友習慣一邊開車一邊跟著收音機的音樂在方向盤上打拍子,剛開始的時候這種習慣并沒有引起她的注意,但是時間長了她感覺難以忍受,恨不得用頭去撞車窗。“但是我習慣把眼光放開一些來看這個問題,他有那么多我喜歡的優點,怎么可能被這個小小的有點可笑的怪癖掩蓋住呢?在這件事情上糾纏是得不償失的。”
      
      親密不應該流于形式
      
      在愛情中,表達彼此愛意的最初都是從親吻開始,應該注意的是,不要因為接觸久了,就把親吻當作****前的例行公事,要重視你們的每一個吻,每次接吻的時候都要真誠而溫柔,永遠像你們第一次親吻的時候一樣懷有激動和喜悅的心情。吻是一種很奇妙的行為,可以很好地表達出一種“我對你愛不釋手”的情懷,對方會感覺你深深地被他吸引,同時他的愛也是你所渴望的。
      
      另外,增進感情的方法并不只限于親吻,兩個人在一起的時候應該多用撫摸或其他的身體接觸來表達感情。有的情侶習慣在任何時候都手牽手,即使在兩個人睡著了以后也不分開,這是一個值得借鑒的習慣,可以讓你們之間的默契和溫情保持在一個細水長流的穩定水平上。
      
      每天至少聯系一次
      
      如果每天下午你都會收到伴侶的一個短信,你會不會感覺很幸福?也許你們晚上就會見面,但是無論如何他都會保持這個  習慣,哪怕只是寥寥的幾個字。這個短信成了你們之間感情的紐帶,讓你知道他百忙之中心里還惦記著你,還有什么比這更讓你感動的呢?在關系牢固的戀人中間,這種做法非常普遍,他們不會讓彼此失去聯系,哪怕是一天也不行。現代社會生活節奏緊張,工作壓力繁重,很有可能兩個人接連幾天都不能見面,無論是電話短信、電子郵件甚至是枕邊的一個小小字條,無非是想表達:盡管我們不能見面,但是我們的心永遠在一起。
      
      快樂可以自己創造
      
      經常穿梭于各種聚會或派對的情侶往往不被人們看好,真正有潛力天長地久的是那些習慣二人世界的情侶們。他們不需要在人情關系網中尋找安全感,在兩個人的世界里,他們一樣自得其樂。
      
      真正快樂的伴侶珍惜兩個人相對的每一個平凡時刻,他們在一起就很好,不需要其他人來打擾,不依靠任何活動和游戲就能滿足。
      
      真的可以做到嗎?可能你不相信,一對有默契的情侶可以幾個小時坐在沙發上各看各的書,或者聊他們的白日夢,甚至就是坐在一起沉默地思考,并不需要制造話題,也不需要什么背景音樂,因為對他們來說,能在彼此的身邊相伴就已經足夠了。
      
      愛情也需要檢查進度
      
      并不是要求兩個人每個星期開一次例會,討論最近愛情方面的投入支出等等是不是按時按量地完成了,也不是說,當不安全感或摩擦產生的時候就要展開批評和自我批評,兩個人對感情能夠開誠布公地討論并把握進度是很有必要的。經常總結你們的表現和內心的想法可以幫助你們找出愛情路途上的小小不平并隨手解決掉,這是很多親密伴侶經常采用的方法,值得學習。
      
      舉例:茉莉習慣在兩個人都很放松的情況下進行一個小小的談話,她和丈夫把這個叫做“****聯盟”,他們把近期以來積聚的感受和想法特別是不愉快的想法統統講出來,所有可能影響兩個人感情的不快都能夠得到宣泄和消除,這是一種積極的方法,可以預防兩個人各自關閉心靈引起的危機。
      
      永遠彼此尊重
      
      如果想知道一對情侶是感情深厚還是感情已經亮起紅燈,只要觀察一下他們談話時候的表情和語氣就可以看出端倪。如果他們之中的任何一個動不動就給對方白眼、冷笑或者出語諷刺,那么可以宣告他們之間不太可能長久下去了。如果一個人對另一個人總是居高臨下,說明他們之間缺乏最基本的尊重,這是每一對伴侶都應該盡量克服的壞習慣。
      
      盡管很多時候你需要很大的力量克制自己不發表意見,但是一個好戀人不應該對伴侶表示出輕蔑或譏諷。有的時候你的伴侶確實表現得愚蠢,那么不妨換個立場考慮,如果你受到對方的搶白或嘲笑,你必然感覺受到了傷害,這種力量作用到對方身上他受到的打擊是相同的。應該學會克制,保留對方的自尊對你們的關系很重要。
      
      沒有必要完全透明
      
      誠實是兩個人相處中最應該遵守的品性,但是這并不代表所有的事情上你都要表現得過于真實,因為很多時候真話并不是那么美好,很可能會對你的伴侶造成傷害。舉個例子,巍巍的男友讓她給自己的身材打分,按照1到10分的標準,巍巍直言不諱地說可以打7分,盡管她不是故意的,但是她的男朋友很有失敗感,這就是讓人難以接受的真話的最大害處。
      
      怎樣才能把握好真實和善意的不真實之間的尺度呢?什么時候該說真話,什么時候應該輕描淡寫?最有效的辦法就是在開口說話之前,先設想一下如果換成你來提問,你會希望他說出什么樣的答案,如果跟你打算說出的回答一樣,你會感覺高興還是受打擊?如果是后者,那么很明顯你絕對不可以按照這種方式回答。
      
      另外要注意的一點就是不要對伴侶不想說的事情刨根問底,可能不這樣做你會感覺不甘心,但別忘了,他們不想說的原因是他們也知道真話不一定全是美好的。

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