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    當前位置:首頁 > 男人女人 > 正文

    關于男人表白的那點事兒

    來源:投稿 日期:2015-03-11 錄入:www.181qd.com 閱讀:1次 我要評論
      我想對于一些男人而言,追求女人表白是不可或缺的一部分, 首先我就要告訴你的就是,絕對不要表白。對于很多男人而言很難接受,但是也是必須接受的事實。很多PUA都深刻的告誡好男人們,只要遵守這一理論即使交往過程中犯了錯誤也有很大回旋余地,如果表白了,除非是她很寂寞圈子本來就很小就是對你本身就有很大的興趣,不然很難得手。就像有些男人把女人都推倒了都還沒有表白,因為這已經不重要了。
      
      這其實是對于新手的忠告,很多有魅力的男人有時候是會采取表白的策略,那起碼別人已經是高手了,沒有在進行表白之后失去自我,一句“我喜歡你,這是我的事。跟你沒關系“。這是一種態度!而很多新手在表白之后,各種送禮物,邀約,企圖讓女人做出擇決,這樣給女人造成很大壓力。這好比戰場上孤注一擲,大決戰的感覺。風險極高。
      
      首先,男女之間的交往是一種事實行動而非語言上的承諾。就像你和別人打牌,如果明牌,就很難贏,除非你牌很好。現在男女交往根本就沒有必要去爭取名分的男女朋友關系這些虛的東西,你保證你能贏得勝利就行。
     
      
      其次,女人同樣有征服欲,容易得到的東西任何人都不會珍惜。女人還沒有展示多少魅力,還沒有在兩人關系中開始投資或是投資很少,或是根本沒被你吸引,你就拜倒在她的石榴裙下。這送上門的菜,有幾個人喜歡呢?舉個最簡單最直接的例子。就像商場里的一雙皮鞋,女孩子根本就還沒有被這雙鞋隨吸引,你就開始追著賣給人家,在人家不接受的情況下,非要強送,錢都不要,興許還要倒貼。別說女孩子,你會要這雙鞋子嗎?不容易得到手的或是投資很多得到手的才會被人所重視,不僅僅是鞋子,包括做人家男朋友。
      
      第三,表白是一種不平等交換。戀愛是一種平等的交往關系。讓人家做女朋友,說明你對她有需求,而你卻沒有她需要的,或者是你不能給她想要的。等于是你想要向她要東西,而當你顯示不出你的價值。你就是像付不出錢,還想買東西的人,那是不可能買到東西的,所以她會厭惡你,因為你的要求不合理。
      
      第四,表白喪失了主動權。表白后你把主動權交給了別人,自己處在膠著等待的過程中,等著人家裁決。往往是人家女孩子不愿意和你做戀人,又不愿傷害你,只能給你發好人卡,其實好人卡是你自己索取的。你不表白,人家怎么去拒絕你,你不說出來,她有什么機會給你發好人卡呢?需求感暴露太多也是如此。男女戀愛的關系中,自古以來都是男追女如隔山,女追男如隔紗。很大程度上女人像一個法官一樣,隨時宣判你的死刑。
      
      自己不能主動表白,就是在她們引誘我們的時候同樣也不能表白,一來有可能是測試看你是不是被征服,如果你表白就完蛋。二來就是你失去了自己的主動權,談話被引入了絕對不能進入的禁區(是不是向她表白的領域)。在這個禁區你表白不表白都是錯誤的,而是根本就不能在這里領域談話。第三,要女人步步緊逼下的被動表白必然被認定為備胎。而自己主動的表白會被發好人卡。
      
      很多朋友都有過這種感觸,不表白的時候兩個人很開心,一起看看電影啊,吃吃飯啊,還有一點點的曖昧啊。但是一表白,女人都躲著你走,不再接你的電話,不再回你的短信,還會對你的窮追不舍的行為惡語相向。
      
      那么關于表白,會涉及到關于“女朋友”這個詞。“女朋友”是一種事實,而不是一份承諾
      
      你和女孩子開始交往,從“普通朋友”變成“好朋友”,再到“非常非常好、無話不談的朋友”,某一個陽光燦爛的午后,你“不小心”拉了她的手;在一個小資情調的咖啡廳的角落里,你突然襲擊吻了她。在你精心設計的卻看起來很偶然的約會后,她跟你回了家······這時她就已經是你的女朋友了,無論她是否承認,她心理已經認為你是他男友了。
      
      所以說,千萬不要急于把窗戶紙捅破,情況越朦朧對你越有利。
      
      “表白”是什么?
      
      前面說了,表白實際上就是一個形式而已,正確的順序應該是:事實上已經成為你女朋友了,你才能向人家表白,水到渠成。 很多人弄不明白這個問題,總以為人家先答應做自己女朋友,然后再如何如何,我只能說他非常非常“單純”,也非常非常“愚蠢”。  呵呵這就是典型的男性思維。自古以來,男性思維和女性思維無法兼容,所以男人才要去學習約會學技巧,打開自己的思路。
      
      “愛”字不要輕易出口
      

      經常看見學院出現“大膽的表白”,說實話我真的認為這是非常不成熟的一種表現。“愛”是一個神圣的字,意味著追求,也意味著承諾,甚至體現出一種責任。  隨便說“愛”的男人是不負責任的。有些媒體為了炒作收視率,喜歡在首頁發布某某富二代手捧999朵玫瑰在步行街向某女神表白······還被宅男當成楷模。我們自己的心中要明白,每天會從媒體上接收到各種各樣的信息,自己要舉一反三!

      
      換個角度考慮問題,站在女性角度思考表白的事情,一個小學沒畢業的農村小保姆,即使對你再好,每個月賺600給你買700的禮物(透支),愿意為你“當牛做馬”,你也不會愛上她。如果她每天哭哭啼啼的纏著,你肯定覺得煩。
      
      追女生正確的流程可以這樣理解。這個階段最關鍵的是不能著急,不要把事情弄的那么清楚,讓人家一眼就能看出你在追人家。現在學約會學的誰還說追女生呢,都TM說是先吸引女生呢。
      
      想一想,一般人都不會一眼就看上你,但也不會看一眼就討厭你,(除非你真的很挫)大家都是老百姓家的孩子(除非你長得象周潤發劉德華),好感是需要隨著了解的不斷增加而實現的,(是女生對你的了解越來越多,而不是你了解女生越來越多)所以問題的關鍵是你要得的進一步發展的機會。
      
      站在女孩子的角度替人家想一想:你這么直接了當的沖過來要搞對象,女孩子肯定有心理壓力。這要是接觸一陣后發現不喜歡你,那不就成了耍你了么?所以如果你開始就擺出志在必得的姿勢出來,基本上會被立刻悶回去。
      
      要低姿態起步
      
      首先要把關系定位成“朋友”,本來是“普通朋友”,你希望成為“好朋友”,有品位的還可以要求對方成為“紅顏知己”什么的,總之千萬不要說“追你”。這可以理解為你先給女生一張好人卡,迷惑對方。
      
      你想想,你如果根本不提“追”,那么女孩子也就更沒機會“拒絕”你——你沒追她怎么拒絕你?!  這樣可以減輕女孩子的心理壓力,使你們能順利的交往下去。不要幻想認識三天就答應嫁給你,要充分的交往、了解,感情不是憑空產生的。  還有就是不要拿出“非你不娶”的志氣來,太掉價了不好,有時候可以耍點花招。
      
      要適當的創造機會
      
      前面說了,不要使事情立刻變成“你在追別人”,而你又需要得到接近女孩子的機會,這時就要看你的創造力了。
      
      你可以搜集情報,想辦法把守株待兔變成一場邂逅;也可以裝做漫不經心的找出最最充足的理由邀請對方和你一起做什么事。總之這個是最有技術含量的地方。
      
      切忌切忌:隨便送人家禮物是不禮貌的
      
      有些人追女孩子心切,喜歡經常買東西送人家,殊不知追女孩子最忌諱這個。
      
      俗話說“無功不受祿”,你這樣送人家東西就是在施加壓力,人家會覺得欠你的,所以會想辦法還給你,如果沒辦法還給你就會想辦法不和你交往,免得總是欠你人情。除非你遇到綠茶妹了。別問我什么是綠茶妹,兄弟你沒那么奧特吧。
      
      如果你想顯示自己的誠意,倒不妨請女孩子一起消費,比如說找好的餐廳吃飯,或者找好玩有趣的地方一起玩什么的,女孩子自然能看出你花了很多錢,但錢終究是兩個人一起花了而不是變成東西帶回家。
      
      先對妹紙做個了解吧,投其所好,講兩個人都喜歡的活動,游戲 之類的,一般這樣講來,兩個人都會有所了解,講起來話也 多 。其實每個人都有自己的煩惱。因為人不會天天都那么安逸的,小孩 子都會眼饞別人呢,了解一下她的煩惱,然后,自然一點, 聊到這個方面,這樣,你們兩個人就會馬上打開話題,而且很容易就讓你們兩個人的感情一下加深。
      
      最后講一點,一定要加強自身的魅力,學會幽默,有豐富的知識,把自己建設 成一個女孩子都喜歡的類型,擁有精彩豐富的人生。讓那個女孩子主動來認識你, 這樣你就會把握主動,不會像現在這樣被動。至少,那 個女孩子也會樂意認識你  。

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