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    當前位置:首頁 > 戀愛新手 > 正文

    戀愛中學會選擇比努力更重要

    來源:豆瓣 日期:2014-08-16 錄入:小編002 閱讀:1次 我要評論
      兄弟,你有沒有過這樣的困惑:
      
      暗戀一個漂亮妹子很久了,好不容易認識她跟她交上朋友,可是人家卻說對你沒感覺。
      
      你講了一個很幽默的故事,朋友們都笑得很開心,可唯獨你最在意的那個妹妹不笑,搞得你好不郁悶。
      
      有些女孩,雖然不是很漂亮,但是見面就給你一種如沐春風的感覺。有些女孩雖然很漂亮,但是對人卻冷若冰霜,跟她相處就讓你如履薄冰。
      
      在網絡上也一樣。有的女孩打過招呼之后,就能暢快地聊起來,有的女人怎么聊,她都提不起興趣。有的女人跟你有說有笑,有的女人卻總是“嗯嗯啊啊”地應付你。
      
      于是,兄弟就迷惑了,開始找自身的原因:
      
      是不是我口才不好,哪里話講錯了?
      
      是不是我學歷不高,見識不夠?
      
      是不是我個子太矮?
      
      是不是我收入太低?
      
      -------
      
      其實都不是,愛情本來就是一種主觀感覺。就象交朋友,大多數人我們只是禮貌地交往一下,還有一部分人看著就讓你就討厭,只有極少數人才會同我們一見如故,成為好哥們。
     
      戀愛中學會選擇比努力更重要-www.digitoma.com
     
      不管多么牛B的戀愛技巧,不管多么牛B的泡妞高手,喜歡他的都只是極少數女人,就是大明星也做不到人見人愛。所以,在戀愛過程中,首先最重要的技巧:就是要學會選擇,懂得放棄。
      
      比如,現在流行美女標準是“白瘦高”。但小編自幼個子生得瘦小,天生就不喜歡瘦女人,高瘦的女人一般胸部平平發育不好,只有白凈豐滿的女人才能讓我有感覺。男人喜歡女人,就跟吃菜一樣,羅卜青菜各有所愛,沒有任何道理可言。反過來講,女人對男人的感覺也是一樣。
      
      戀愛的審美觀毫無標準跟道理可言,就是一種主觀感受。正所謂“情人眼里比西施”。當然,男女戀愛審美觀還是有一些細節上的差別。比如:
      
      男人對女人的第一印象,外貌占到80%以上,其次才是言談舉止。因為男人的審美觀容易受下半身性沖動的影響。有的女人,看上去就會令我們怦然心動,可是交往下去,才發現是繡花枕頭。即便如此,男人還是本能地以相貌去作為選擇女人的第一標準。
      
      女人對男人的第一印象是感覺,可能是相貌,可能是才能,可能是風度,可能是閱歷,總之你給了她一個良好的感覺,正好跟她夢中的白馬王子比較接近,她就會對你有好感。
      
      所以,小編對戀愛中的選擇標準建議是:“只選擇對我們有好感的女人,排除對我們不來電的女人。”
      
      在戀愛過程中,選擇比努力更重要。套用一句廣告語:只選對的,不選累的。
      
      不要試圖去改變女人,那樣會讓你活得很累,得不償失。有時候你為了追求一個心中的女神,改變得越多,只會讓她更看不起你,因為你喪失了自己的原則,不斷在為自己價值減分。
      
      那么,在網絡戀愛中,如何去準確選擇女人呢?這里以一個月為時間段為例:
      
      第一步:海選。
      
      根據你的性格特長,對女人的要求,先有一個較清晰地定位。然后通過各種網絡渠道,把符合這些條件的MM加到QQ好友中來。
      
      第二步:初選
      
      通過搭訕,交談兩三次以后,把那些不怎么搭理我們,或者喜歡跟我們爭辯的女人放到備胎組里,只留下跟我互動效果好的女人。
      
      網絡聊天跟現實生活中差不多,價值觀接近的人初次接觸都會比較投緣。然后把這部分女人帶入到好友關系中去。初選大概10名左右。
      
      第三步:挑選
      
      在這種10好友里面,挑選2名跟我們價值觀最接近,最認同我們思想的女人,帶她進入知己狀態。
      
      第四步:精選
      
      在兩名知己里面,選擇跟我們曖昧互動效果好,最肯為我們投資時間跟精力的那一位,發展成為情人關系。
      
      在戀愛過程中,我們一定要遵循一個原理:讓對我們有好感的女人更喜歡我們,讓討厭我們的女人離開。你只能讓愛你的人更愛你,不能讓討厭你的去愛你。
      
      很多兄弟在戀愛過程最容易犯的錯誤有如下兩種:
      
      1、去追求對自己沒有好感的冷美人。百般討好,千般奉迎,可是你的癡情與真誠總是付之流水。
      
      2、女人已經不愛自己了,總是苦苦挽留。老是希望彌補曾經犯下的過錯,即使破鏡重圓,心上的裂痕依然留在那里,還不如趁早重新開始一段新的愛情。
      
      在戀愛過程中,學會選擇,懂得放棄,也是一種非常重要技巧。畢竟每個人的時間跟精力有限,不要糾結于那些跟我們價值差距太大的女人身上。
      
      在跟女人戀愛的過程中,如果開始印象就不好,要學會果斷放棄,因為彌補裂痕比重新開始難十倍以上。不要糾結于面子,糾結于曾經的付出。該放棄時,一定要果斷放棄。
      
      學會及時止損,也是一種智慧。選擇比努力更重要。

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