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    當前位置:首頁 > 戀愛技巧 > 正文

    忍耐,是一種惡性循環效應

    來源:寶兒貳爺 日期:2014-09-11 錄入:www.181qd.com 閱讀:1次 我要評論
      忍耐,愛情惡性循環效應
      
      人都是媽生爹養的,沒有一個人是從石頭子兒里蹦出來的,刨了那著名的猴兒以外,靈長類都這樣兒。所以,也沒有一個人是天生下來就為了伺候另一個人的。但有一種情況會讓一個高傲的人放棄自己去伺候別人,遷就別人,那就是愛情。
      
      但是,各位,有一個問題似乎大家都忽視了,那就是你能忍耐多久?如果你不能忍一輩子的話,那開始就不要忍耐。前些日子,我看一電視,上面說一女人八年如一日照顧一任性的男人,男人一直覺得這是應該的,認為女人天生就應該對男人唯命是從,有一天,女人的手機響了,同事的一條短信讓男人起了疑心,于是彪悍的抽了女人一頓,結果女人被打跑了。先開始男的該干嘛干嘛,他覺得女人遲早得回來求他,因為一直以來女人都表現的離不開他,恨不得自己是塊膏藥貼他身上才好的那種,可是倆月過去了,女人一個電話也沒有,一個短信也沒來過。男的慌了,去女人家找,女人的哥哥說女人去外地打工不回來了。男的傻了,趕緊到處找,還跑電視上聲淚俱下的認錯,揚言以后一定改,早干嘛去了?!電視臺的編輯為了能做一大團圓結局,也跟男的一起勸女人,女人也哭了,但她始終不和男人溝通,只是問編導:“一個人八年都改不了的脾氣能一下就改了嗎?!一個忍了八年的人還要繼續忍嗎?!“編導還沒說話,那男人咕咚一聲兒跪地下了,然后嘴里一直“瑞屁特”一句話:”我能改!我能改!我真的能改!“女人面無表情的說:“能改早就改了,改不了的全都沒改。”編導后來始終沒有搭茬兒,只是在最后安慰那男人一句:“天涯何處無芳草,只要你改了,早晚會找到好姑娘的”男人一看徹底沒戲了抬頭對女人說了一句話:“你離開我早晚會后悔的!”女人聽了笑了笑什么也沒說站起來走了。我心里話說了:“就沖你丫這句話,人家就絕對不會后悔!”
      
      我記得一治什么口瘡的廣告里一女人歇斯底里的嚷了一句廣告詞:“不能再忍啦!”要我說,為什么要忍呢?!如果你真沒打算忍一輩子,為什么一開始要忍呢?!說到底還是因為愛,因為愛所以愿意忍耐,忍耐對方無休止的透支,潛移默化的,對方被慣的沒樣兒之后依然透支你的忍耐,結果有一天,你突然意識到:“操!憑什么呀!我上輩子欠你的么?!我憑什么愛的這么累呀?!”當你意識到這點的時候,你已經不再愛對方了。因為你的愛已經被對方透支完了。這TM就是愛情的惡性循環效應!多少天造地設的一對兒就因為這個效應歇B了!很多分手了的人就開始重復《蝴蝶效應》里的場景,希望回到過去,改正一下錯誤,結果也許就不一樣了。但是他們忘了,如果改了,反過來自己開始遷就對方了,對方反過來透支你了,你也有忍耐不了的一天,就好比《蝴蝶效應》里那人一樣,最后怎么選都有錯,干脆在娘胎里殺死自己,眼不見為凈。
     
      
      再來一例子,一小姑娘給我留言:
      
      (悄悄話)他是江蘇人并在江蘇上學,我是天津人在天津上學。兩年多了,我們一直都是兩地跑。我們在一起的第一年,他很寵愛我,雖然我們在一起的時候我對他照顧得很好,但主旋律還是他對我的好,我很任性,老實說有些仗著他喜歡我我就經常耍脾氣還經常說分手。去年五月,他來看我,我們有了一些矛盾。之后的夏天我說分手吧,他竟然同意了,后來我認錯他都不原諒我,說我太任性了把分手總說在嘴邊。我說那我們就重新認識吧,二十天后我們又在一起了。
      
      (悄悄話)一直到現在,我們出現矛盾的時候,他很少哄我,都是讓我自己反省。我真的覺得很委屈,我已經不任性了,他也說我有很大的進步,但我一直處在劣勢。他就是那種特別不成熟的人。他的很多思想和我的都格格不入,他覺得學歷不重要。我們都剛剛畢業,我想繼續學,他卻說我應該走向社會了,希望我快點成長起來。難道學歷真的不重要嗎?!他覺得女人不能靠男人,應該把自己的工作做得很好。這我同意,可是就按他那樣的,我要是和他結婚我就得累死,家里什么都要我干還要在外面工作。
      
      (悄悄話)舉個例子吧,我們在一起的時候,從外面回來,我洗完澡讓他快去洗然后我好一塊把衣服都洗了,他非要看電視,我的結膜炎犯了很難受,他洗完澡還要我去洗他的衣服,我問他你不能自己洗是嗎?他才自己洗的。以前他會總給我打電話,現在他幾乎一個月也不打一次,他說現在不上學了不能再要他媽的錢了,放暑假在家,我的錢也不富裕我怎么就能給他打呢?我同學說都是我把他慣壞了,因為我們這里打長途會更便宜些,所以我都是不讓他打我撥過去的,現在他成習慣了。
      
      這是一典型的“愛情惡性循環效應”男人開始時,很遷就女人,忍不了了,同意女人分手,女人后悔了,覺得再也找不到向這個男人這樣疼自己,遷就自己的了。于是求男人原諒,男人終于明白,原來是自己怕女友不要,其實女友也同樣害怕!既然這樣也就不用再忍啦!從男人的角度講,這TM是一典型的翻身仗!對女人來講,這是又一個“愛情惡性循環效應”的開始,從女孩兒給我的留言可以看的出來,下一個效應馬上也要有結果了。
      
      這個故事讓我想到了水水,一個很久沒有提起的名字,一個小女人。曾經我很遷就這個分手狂,拋棄一切尊嚴去哀求。突然有一天,因為工作的原因,我在外地,根本不可能再跑到她面前去乞求原諒,而且她也不接受電話道歉,于是,一咬牙,一跺腳,操!愛誰誰吧!我同意了分手。結果出人意料,后來我回北京,她竟然哭著跑來跟我認錯。當時我一下就明白了很多,她因為我對她的好已經離不開我了,可那時,我再問自己還能象原來那樣遷就她嗎?答案是否定的,因為我已經不怕她的離開了,心態已經完全不一樣了。她在和好之后也發現了這一點,總是抱怨我沒有以前對她好了,沒有以前讓著她了。試探性的提了一次分手,我居然面無表情的痛快同意了。因為我自己心里很清楚,過去的再也回不來了。
      
      是啊!過去的就再也回不來了,曾經的不珍惜只能總結經驗珍惜下一個了,因為眼前的再珍惜也沒有用了。所以,別等沒有機會了才去改,那個時候改也沒有用了

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